Winters are almost over here and spring is at the doorstep. Beautiful flowers red,yellow,violet and pink are scattered on every inch of green and you know spring is called as season of love,it’s strange that how, even after all these years the word “Love” reminds me of you….my first love.
I still remember, the time we first met. My bicycle got a flat tyre on my way back to home from school so I had to walk it down on the road.“Want some water??”it was you from behind,the first time I saw you A tired but beautiful face with sweat on forehead. “No!! I am fine, I think you need it more” I said.I didn’t even realise, when you came down of your bicycle to walk beside me and just like that we started walking together.
It won’t be wrong if I call, “us” being together as series of “just like thats”. Just like that one day we held each others’ hands,just like that we started falling for each other,just like that one day you said you want to kiss my lips and I got flustered. Often when I remember those days I always wonder, how something like love can be so simple and yet it gets complicated with time.
If you were here you would have loved to see the bees,that were once waiting for sweet Petunias to bloom now dancing and humming with joy. While standing on terrace once you asked me,how do I feel with you?? At that time it was so sudden that I couldn’t express myself properly and I know that somewhere,it might have disappointed you. But now,If you could ever read this I want to you know that- Every time I looked into those dark eyes of yours I felt like these bees, dancing and humming with joy for their Petunias.
I clearly remember the day I got into the fight with that boy who catcalled a girl from my class because she broke up with him and he called me a slut for speaking up. You know when they say something like this to me,I pretend as if it didn’t bother me at all,I try to hide it deep inside my heart even when it keeps echoing in my head all the time,I try to stand firm on my ground even when my legs are trembling with angst and pain and even when I am shook to core,I keep put with it. It wouldn’t come out as a surprise to you that in all these years I have become an expert in faking almost every emotion, whether it’s pain or it’s a joy.
I didn’t tell you about it for days but when could I hide anything from you?? And the day when you finally asked me,“Are you hurt??” I couldn’t held myself back and I bawled like crazy, sometimes it feels strange that how even your gentle nudge could shuffle or reshuffle all the emotions within me. I can never forget that moment when you held me tight to your chest,put your hand on my head and said,“You know, you don’t have to be strong all the time,it’s Ok if sometimes you are weak, vulnerable and hurt,Just lean on me and I will always hold you like this.” Once again just like that with a gentle nudge, I fell in love with you all over again and I kissed those soft,warm lips of yours.
It’s been years that I haven’t seen a spring as beautiful as this,and even our hearts may get cold and damp with time,but there is a saying here,“As season changes the cold of Winters disappears”, sometimes it gets really cold in here I wish for this winter to disappear too.
As I am walking down these hills,I can see a couple walking ahead of me with their fingers interlocked,they seem to be in love. Sometimes while walking they look into each others’ eyes and then burst into giggles. I wonder what they want to show each other from their eyes.What it could be?? to which they can’t hold their joy. It could be their version of life that they have imagined with each other or it could be a simple promise of a kiss or hug or who knows,maybe it’s a commitment for lifetime….but whatever it is I wish it comes true for them.
As I m looking them all I can think is,how Love is always so beautiful and how sometimes life can get ugly and I hope if it ever gets ugly for them they could just interlock their fingers,look into each others’ eyes and burst into giggles like they are doing now.