Today is the last day of the year, earlier to this year I never thought it was some big deal, just another day of life. But this year it’s different, it’s the year of learning, loss and love. So with every sip of my morning tea this year is making me nostalgic, I wouldn’t want to change a single thing about the past. I am happy that it happened and I am sad that it is passing.

I lost you or to be precise you left, I still remember the day 5 May exactly at 7:13 PM. I waited for your text for too long, and what I got was your last text. The love lost that day has changed me a great deal, so yes thanks for coming into my life, thanks for leaving, I cried a lot but I learnt a lot more. People change, we can change way more than we can think of. You changed, I changed and I hope we keep on changing and growing towards better. I wish you nothing but the best.

I didn’t work this year for so many reasons, I didn’t earn a single penny. God!! But I relaxed this year. I read books, I took interviews, I met some wonderful people, I learnt that deep down we all are equally confused and are trying to make sense out of this life.

I have a pet now, I remember the day I brought it home,he was tiny little bundle of fur. I didn’t plan on keeping it but eventually I did keep it. I am a bunny 🐰mom now, he is going to be a constant part of my life. Next year and next year and for all years I will write about him. I am already so much in love with him. Sometimes you should let your heart decide , it always knows the best. My baby is one of the best things that happened to me this year.

Friendships: I made new friends and made amends with the old ones, I became more sensitive towards all of them. I realized how important these people are who will try to wrap up my every mess. They don’t care when, how and what, they are just there. Easiest one, the one that will never hurt you. Sensitive enough to know where to stop and annoying enough to get on your nerves. These people who were strangers once,are a big family now.

So, as that song goes cheers to one that we got cheers to one that we lost on the way.

Cheers to this year and you are giving me this nostalgia,

phew!!! To the year of change and lessons.

Farewell 2024

Many people come into life, some stay some are meant to leave and teach you something valuable about life. It has been the same for me as well. However there are men who are a constant part of my life, they motivate me and impact my life in a lot many ways but if this has to be about one single man who in a way will be a part of my life and impacted it for good it would be The Man I once loved.

Two years back I met this beautiful young man, simple decent and perfect in all sorts of ways. He taught me how to be the best self.  He is the one who won’t let me use bad words even for myself. He is driven hardworking open to change and in a way the gentlest of gentlemen.

He introduced me to Buddhism,  a belief that still helps to hold my ground even when I am shook to the core.

He taught how being respectful is a human thing not an obligation but something should be inbuilt to the ones core.

With him I had seen the purest form of love, A gentry that is rare to find. How man in the toughest profession can be the kindest and softest at heart.

Dear The Man what I want to tell you is I have never for once regretted why I met you . The only pain you had inflicted wasn’t actually caused by you : it’s giving up on us but you have given a bundle of positives. A belief to make life easier.

Thank You.

Yours forever

Football

Nothing, Yeah I like nothing about me. Nothing is favorite at all. Whatever I do make others uncomfortable. I over love, I over give sometimes way more for others to take in. I prefer to keep my eyes and ears close so that I won’t see or hear anything that would make me love them a little less,so that I can hold on to the person a little more. They say moving on is difficult but for me it’s nearly impossible. I can’t help but to make them a part of me. I happen to sense uncomfortable things even if they are happening miles apart, I happen to catch lies even if it’s in a mere text and suddenly I would realise, oh I was the one hurting and after a day or two I will give them another chance to hurt me.

Sometimes I think rather than self defense It would have been better if I had learnt how to protect my heart,how to stop myself from repeating the same toxic patterns. But maybe that’s how I love. I hold on to people till I completely loose the grip of them,But once the grip is lost I hate that I turn myself coldest towards them. I won’t even look at them even if I just want to get a glance of them,those people who were once mine just happen to become nobody for me. They simply stop existing for me or maybe once again I choose to close my eyes and ears .How can somebody like me can have anything favorite about themself.

Funnily, just in a place where I will be more loved, I think I grew up fast and I miss what I lost in the process.